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Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin]

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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Wed 11 Apr 2012, 9:18 pm



Hogosha, Taizen.

THE INFO.

Name: Taizen Hogosha
Nickname: The Calm Protector
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Appearance: Given that he is much more focused on speed rather then raw power, his body is much different then that of most physical specialists. Instead of a large build up of muscle upon his body, he takes more of a lean approach, having a smaller appearance which can cause the untrained eye to believe him to be less proficient then he actually is. However, his smaller muscle structure is quite dense and built in such a way that they are very hard and sturdy even when not flexed. This is achieved through careful diet and an exercise routine that focuses more forwardly on endurance then actual putting power behind ones movements. He has taken careful approaches to primarily strengthen his core and hips to increase power by proxy in incorporating the whole of his body into each movement he makes. His abs are very well defined and easily the most toned part of his entire body. Due to the vast endurance, and a partial contributor of, his veins are swollen across most of his body in that they are highly noticeable in his arms especially. While not popping out at gross proportions, they are very well outlined.

Taizens most noticeable feature is his hair which is always well kept and has a certain shine to it caused by its snowy white hue and special care applied to keep it healthy. He tends to keep it tied up in a pony tail to avoid it getting in his eyes or falling over his shoulders as it reaches down to the small of his back. He allows to shorter patches to remain free and hang on either side of his face. He wears a white gi uniform that fits very well and snug against his lean body. The material has a gold trim and the top hangs down to his knees. A yellow scarf that matches the trim wraps around the midsection to act as a belt, holding various items. On his feet he wears black open toed boot sandals that have a fairly thick rubber sole that protect the soft under sides.

When going into a situation where he knows battle is possible, namely most of his missions, Taizen wears select gear and brings with him an arsenal to be reckoned with. On his left side closer to the front there is a customized pouch with most of his simpler battle items and a few self designed ones as well. On either hip rests a holster holding a blade with a literal lightning edge. He has a shield that looks like a bracer across his left forearm. Furthering the illusion he has two black bracers on either of his shoulders, bracer gloves on both hands, and a black chest plate upon his torso. Only his legs remain unarmored.

Forehead Protector: Taizen wears his villages metallic symbol around his neck. He uses it as a defense for his very vulnerable throat. It is tied tight enough to be an aplicable defense, held together by a knot in the back, but is loose enough as to not restrict his breathing.

Personality: Taizen is a very reserved individual, mostly keeping to himself, and in normal social situations, very quiet. Though he is not a loner, neither is he exaactly a people person, living with a nice balance between the two. He often finds himself locked in his mind, thinking and pondering, taking on a great deal of excess stress with the lengths to which his mind wanders and worries. His deep thought gives a slight detachment from reality, causing him to be more of an idealist, willing to take risks where others would hesitate at the very least. He can draw a path in his mind to any goal or destenation to achieve what he so desires, making him a very driven and hardworking individual. Being able to see a way to the end result motivating him to get to each next step. He is also quite adaptable, able to appropriately behave in any given situation, sometimes seeming to be two completely different people while retaining his inner most workings as a person and individual.

Normaly he is very kind, going out of his way to help and aide others, as according to his ninja way. He believe it full heartedly that it is his sole purpose to protect and help others. He is sometimes self sacriicial, taking the blunt of a bad situation so that others can prosper and have a greater stint of hapiness. Also whilst he does not ovely enjoy hostile confrontation, he never backs down and does what he must when it is needed of him. He does not turn the other cheek and when he feels deeply about something, he makes sure it is known. In combat he maintains his respectable and kind nature for the most part, caring for the opponent, even if it is one he must kill, reflected in his defensive fighting style. However, there a great number of things, sometimes depending on the day, that can turn his attitude into that of a cruel, though in his mind justly so, punisher in a fight, typically when something the opponent did conflicted with his core morals.
Clan: -
Nindō: "To defend, even thyself, is the path of a truly great warrior."

THE NINJA.

Origin: Water Country
Affiliation: Kiri
Rank: Experienced Genin
Specialties: Ninjutsu/Weaponry (Close, Long)
Elemental Affinities: Raiton (Lightning), Suiton (Water)
Combat Style: Counters. This is the pinicle foundation on which the style of combat Taizen partakes in is built upon. Instead of forcefully trying to over take the opponent, he rather studies and incorporates the actions they take into their own defeat. He utilizes precise timing and placement with more subtle techniques in an attempt to gain the upperhand, sometimes even allowing himself to get hurt or temporarially put himself at a disadvantage if he thinks it would aide him later on in the battle. He is primarily a close range fighter, but is not limited to just that. However he is much more diverse and effective in close proximity. He primarily focuses on physical attacks, using ninjutsu and simple weapons to help kick off certain events or help control the tide of battle through subtle influences. However, should he grow angrier for whatever reason, or have need for time or wish the battle simply to be over faster, he will take on a more offensive roll, stringing together as complex combinations as he can muster mixing up ninjutsu, tools, and taijutsu in various, seemingly random fashion. Also as a suplement while the battle rages, he tends to set up small traps using the ninja gear and the environment to his advantage.

Special Characteristics:

Speed:
 

Perception:
 

Hand Seals:
 

THE BACKGROUND.

History: Born and christianed with the name Taizen, he did not come from a traditional shinobi family and lacks the clan namesake as such. In fact he was born to a mother who had fallen in love at an early age with a blind eye to a man who was to eventually become a raging drunken acloholic and an abusive father and husband. For the first seven years of his life he was beaten with out much restraint by his father, disciplined for no other reason then he existed as a mirror of the self hating image the father had of himself. This hardened the boy greatly both in mind, spirit, heart, and body. On an evening when Taizen had been ten for nearly half a year, his father turned his rage on his mother. Taizen felt a surge of emotion he had never felt before and jumped in between the two, taking the onslaught to his father, eventually killing him. This was no testament to Taizens strength as the father had been drunk out of his mind.

Though she was greatful to be free from the chains of the abusive relationship, Taizen could not quite forgive her for the years of torment he had suffered because she refused to walk away and had eventually caused him to murder his father. He had no love for his father, but he now had blood on his hands, something as a boy he had hoped to avoid greatly. Feeling the discontent between the two of them, the mother became more overwhelmed with grief then ever and took her own life not two years after being freed from a life of fear and torture at the hands of her late husband. Taizen, only 12 at the time, was taken into custody of the village and due to his capable physical nature, was place under the care of a chunin and sent to the academy to be trained as a shinobi as orphans of the state quite often were.

He was very reluctant to train as a shinobi, for he still regreted deeply having had to take a life already and knew that was more or less all the shinobi world had to offer. Though he tried to steer himself down a non combat career, he often found himself coming to the aide of others, and soon established a name for himself amongst the other genin. Though he was always calm and level headed, it was common knowledge to not cross him, and the thing that crossed him most was the bullying of others. It did not take him long until he graduated and was placed under the care of his old Chunin mentor once again for further training before he was to be put in a three man squad with a Jounin.

The chunin taught him well, and made him reflect often about his life, making him see that having blood on ones hands could be the product of good intentions and outcomes. He told Taizen had been given an edge to know such strife at an early age and because of it and the person he was inside and always would be, had a clear view of right and wrong. He was a protector and those were the most well reknown type of shinobi because they were powerful due to their willingness to sacrifce for others and also because their nature caused them to make connections in the shinobi world that many often never obtained. Being taught these lessons by himself made Taizen much more willing to continue on his path as a shinobi.

After seeing that Taizen was a much more capable student then most of the genin that were under his care, the chunin decided to keep him rather then send him off into a team. The training became much more intense and the over all atmosphere began to rapidly change. The mentor was in fact one of the most infamously notorious in the village for reasons unknown to Taizen. The goal went from shaping him up to be sent off and trained to training him into the next great underground tool for the Mist village. Given his personality and reasons for becoming a ninja, Taizen was very resistant to this and conflict between the two began to arise.

After going on a few missions, Taizen began to meet new friends and form rivalries of his own. At one point an old rivalry emerged which ended with the other being detained and stripped of his shinobi title for criminal misconduct. One such friend was a timid and much younger boy named Okugi who was barely in his teen years. Seeing his innocence and age, Taizen took the role as an older brother figure and both trained and went on missions with the lad. The bond attracted the attention of the chunin mentor who began to make hints of interest in Okugi. Not liking this at all, Taizen furthered himself even more from his mentor, beginning to branch out on his own.

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:
 

THE ARSENAL.

Academy Techniques


Spoiler:
 

Ninjutsu Techniques


Spoiler:
 


Water Techniques


Spoiler:
 

Lightning Techniques


Spoiler:
 


Kenjutsu


Spoiler:
 

Summons


Spoiler:
 


Combat Items


Spoiler:
 

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim: Kietsumeka Twins
Source: Original DeviantArt by Ecthelian
Image URL: HERE


Last edited by Saint on Mon 04 Feb 2013, 11:42 pm; edited 13 times in total
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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 8:32 pm

Complete, finally
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:11 am

Quote :

Name: Humming Counter-Strike: Cradle
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close
Element: -
Description: The user will await for the attacker to come at them with an attack of some sort that causes their momentum etc to carry them so as to make their escape of the counter much more difficult. Preparing and waiting till the last second, the user will respond attempting to avoid the attack by spinning around them and wrapping their arm around the attackers midsection, with the elbow directly above their belly button. They will then use chakra to increase the vibrations created from the contact to effectively break four of their ribs instantly, two on either side of the cage, causing a great deal of pain and making breathing more difficult.
Chakra Cost: 4

The damage inflicted by this technique is too much for a D Rank. Increase it to a C Rank please.

Quote :

Name: Futon Bushin
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 5 meters
Element: Wind
Description: This is a knock off version of the clone techniques in that it creates a likeness of the user. When used it simply shapes the wind around them into a ghostly shape of themselves, but it is very detailed, though completely not useful as a decoy. It is incapable of using any techniques of its own aside from simple taijutsu. It can punch, kick, etc at as well as being able to use any weapons they might have which will be made out of wind, which will of course have more cutting power then his own weapons would, and there in lies its true potential. Also, if struck, it will simply disipate and reform a few feet away.
Chakra Cost: 9 (+2 per post)

Can the clones created by this be destroyed at all? If not, it'll have to be at least a B Rank technique.

Apart from that stuff, looks fine to me.
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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 12:37 pm

Cradle: Changed to C rank and C-Cost upped to 5 accordingly

Futon Bushin: Largely based this off Gaara's sand clone which is also C rank and can reform and form around the opponent with ease, however I see your point, added in a 4 point chakra cost to reform if struck.
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sat 21 Apr 2012, 4:41 am


Looks good to me.

Approved 1/2
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Enzo
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sat 21 Apr 2012, 7:01 pm

Several things;
    • You fail to mention a forehead protector anywhere in your appearance.
    • Your appearance states that you have strong abs and high endurance. Remember that this means NOTHING until you get the actual SC; so I advise you train for it as soon as possible after approval.
    • You're allowed a second element. Even if you don't want any jutsu in it at this time, it will be helpful in the future; if you wish to get a summon or something.
    • Quote :
      Humming Block
      Reduce the amount of fractures to three. Five is a lot for the arm; and enough to make the limb useless for the rest of the match. Mainly because it would cause excruciating pain. I've had fractured bones before. It's not fun.
    • Quote :
      Humming Counter-Strike: Cradle
      Far too powerful for a C-rank. B-rank if anything. I suggest lowering it to "Fractured ribs". I do hope you realize ribs are surrounded by muscle mass; which is why breaking them wouldn't be something a C-rank technique would be able to do. If you did that same technique twice, the ribs would obviously break though. Oh, and increase chakra cost to about 7.
    • Quote :
      Humming Strike: Wasp
      1" is very deep for a bone fracture. Most bones are about 1" thick, if not less. Very few are more. 1" fracture is the same thing as just breaking the bone. If you want to keep it as a fracture, just say it's a fracture. Not a 1" fracture.
    • Quote :
      Humming Strike: Starfish
      Same as above. Also, reduce to 3 fractures.
    • Quote :
      Humming Strike: Viper
      Same as above. Also, each hit fractures a bone? That's very harsh. If so, then remove all mentions of fracturing altogether. 10 fractures is way too powerful for a C-rank.
    • Quote :
      Humming Strike: Eagle
      Change 'For the rest of the battle' to '4 posts'. Though it is painful, these are ninja. They get over pain much quicker than others.
    • Quote :
      Humming Counter-Strike: Striking Boa Craddle
      No. A knee to the gut won't break anything. A knee to the chest will, but that's not possible realistically; unless you're a giant in comparison to the person. A knee to the gut will hurt like a bitch, but it won't break anything.
    • Quote :
      Striking Gale
      Too strong for D-rank. Either raise to C-rank or remove the "sent flying 2 meters" bit. D-ranks are very, very weak jutsu; mind you.
    • Quote :
      Wind Release: Vaccum Displacement
      I don't understand what this jutsu does. Also, to be able to move your hand that fast as to intercept a flying projectile; Nuh uh. Far too advanced. Would require an additional SC, preferably a reflex based one.
    • Quote :
      Wind Release: Thorn Whip
      No.. Just no. Wind can't be that specific. Especially at D-rank. Hell even C-rank wind techniques are incredibly basic. If you leave it as a basic whip, then sure. But it would still need to be C-rank.
    • Quote :
      Wind Release: Projectile Partial Influence
      Specify you can only do 1 of the things you mentioned at a time. Also add a maintaining cost, since you can theoretically use it for more than one post.
    • Quote :
      Stink Bomb
      Remove the smokescreen effect. Though I realize this is a more advanced version of stink bombs you can buy at a drug store; smoke screen still makes no sense. Maybe it could add some yellow to the air, but not completely reduce vision.

That is all for now.
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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sat 21 Apr 2012, 7:18 pm

I can agree with about 50% of what was said here but the other 50 I would entirely disagree with on very basic grounds. However I really dont feel like taking the time to go through and pick apart each thing to prove my points so just archive the character.

EDIT: Please dont take what I said as meant to be disrespectful, but after getting two clans denied and realizin how hard its going to be to get what I want out of this character, its not worth the time and energy Ive already put into it really let alone what Id have to to get it approved adn then rp when I will only be active for a month or so before I return home and get back to life where I will, hopefully, much to busy. I do hope what I said wasnt taken the wrong way here and I appologize greatly Enzo, if it came off the wrong way.
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Enzo
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Wed 25 Apr 2012, 4:39 am

Nah, I didn't take offense to it; I did kinda screw you over on two clans. It's only a reasonable reaction (though honestly speaking, your first one was just very poorly timed. If you applied for it like a month ago, it probably would have been approved. You just got unlucky with the Genjutsu updates). Although; you asking to archive the character did seem a bit..odd. I only asked you to nerf a majority of the techniques, since they could leave a member unable to fight with one well planted hit. If your C-rank are that powerful, I can't imagine how strong an A-rank would be. One hit kill? Either way, like I said. Most of what I put are just suggestions to reduce the power of some Taijutsu. I didn't flat out deny your character; I was simple trying to make him a little less over powered. Most of the stuff I suggested seemed reasonable; at least to me. Even though they are nerfed, if used correctly, you could still win a fight fairly quickly. Anyway, I won't archive your character yet. If you still want to fix it, feel free to do so. If not, just reply and I'll remove it. I apologize if I ruined your RP spirit with my last post. I just like to play fair~
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sat 05 May 2012, 10:17 pm

Major Edit

-Specialty switched from taijutsu to weaponry
-Element switched to Raiton
- Added electromagnetic murder technique from encyclopedia
- Added Academy Techniques
- Added Blades of Leaves from encyclopedia
- Added 2 Katana
- Greatly lessened the smokescreen effect of the stink bombs as requested by Enzo
- Removed all taijutsu and wind based ninjutsu
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Brett
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sat 05 May 2012, 10:31 pm

Although it has been made basic, it was your call. :]

That said..

1/2 Approved.
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Enzo
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 06 May 2012, 8:45 pm

Just a few things before approval. They're just nitpicks, so it won't really take too long. Change the title to "Surname, Birthname [Village Rank]" It's for organization purposes. Origin should be a country. Also, you are allowed an additional element to start with. It is highly recommended you pick a second, even if you don't want any jutsu for it at this time. Finally: Are you sure you only want a few jutsu? You're allowed 15. This is it really, I'll paste a second approval the moment you finish with these updates~
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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 06 May 2012, 9:08 pm

- Title of topic changed
- Origin made to be Fire Country
- Added Suiton and three techniques from the encyclopedia to go with it (since yall seem to make a big deal out of it Very Happy )
- I have 5 now and I am more then content with that, the genin in the show displayed about that or less and were fine against a variety of opponents.

Everything should be in order now. The character is meant to be very basic
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Enzo
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 06 May 2012, 9:13 pm

My mistake; you forgot your Face Claim. Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 06 May 2012, 9:31 pm

Annoying, but done nonetheless Smile
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Enzo
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 06 May 2012, 9:32 pm

Thanks!

[2/2] Approved!
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Dari's Angel
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Wed 10 Oct 2012, 9:08 pm

Archived.
Due to user inactivity.

________________
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 8:07 am

Unarchived due to user request.
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Slurberdur
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 8:38 am

Prolly gona need sum edits but.....done
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Emperor of Rock
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 10:40 am

You can start with only 1 SC

Quote :
Name: WIndcutter
Lower the number of cuts to 10 and up the chakra cost to the highest level for that rank.

You have 7 jutsus and you can start with 15, without counting the Academy ones.
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 5:16 pm

- SC: Forgot I had trained for that when character was in use before, removed handsigns
- Windcutter- Changed, given what I want to use it for, its a fair adjustment
- Im aware, this character is meant to be very basic and rely more heavily on skill then jutsu, but thank you for the concern and reminder Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 5:23 pm

One last thing, add the Forehead Protector section between Appearance and Personality and you should be done.
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 7:32 pm

Added and done
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 8:11 pm

Almost missed it, get a Quiver and Arrows for that Short Bow. Should be somewhere in Encyclopedia
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 8:43 pm

Couldnt find it in the encyclopedia so utilized and edited someones quiver from approved equipment, nothing special
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PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 10:49 pm

Approved 1/2
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