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Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin]

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Kite
Kumo Nin
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Age : 27
Posts : 1209

PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 11:31 pm

Hey there, The application is looking great, though I do have one issue and that is your "Tilted Blade" style. There are a few things here that I either want you to fix or at least explain to me.


Quote :
Name:Tilted Blade
Rank: -
Type: Weaponry Style
Range: Close
Element: -
Description: The tilted Blade is a style of kenjtusu created and honed by Taizen himself. It is fairly simple and does not require much explanation, however this is not to downplay the difficulty of its use or the mastery of it because it is revered as one of the most difficult styles to effectively use. In this style, the user forgoes virtually any and all power behind his strikes. Instead he remains limber and relaxed, allowing the blade to glide through the air rather then rip, allowing the sword to do the work. This use of momentum to carry strikes through rather then physical strength allows for the sword to do the work and keeps the user from tiring as easily. Furthermore it actually allows for better cutting then normal, however it lacks in the area of stabbing. This increases the speed at which the strikes come as well, and each movement always turns into another one in a continuous flow of motions that only a user of this style could maintain due to the lack of physical strain on the users body. In a defensive manner, it does not meet attacks head on but rather uses their own blade to redirect the opposing blade in another direction, the blade acting only as a quick lever to shift the movement and the kinetic energy elsewhere. This takes the need to think and react quickly is a must. It very much so relies more on defending and counter attacking then a strong onslaught though this is not out of the question given certain circumstances.
Chakra Cost: -

My first issue is how a style created by a genin becomes revered? I know that in the future, if your character becomes well known for their swordplay they can perhaps have their own style be revered but as a genin you nor your style are well known. Please remove that or explain how it came to be revered while you are a genin.

My second issue is that you say this style allows for better cutting than normal usage of a sword, which i don't understand, given that you are not putting weight behind your strikes and are merely allowing momentum to carry through. Perhaps if your movements remained unchanged for long enough to the point where you built up so much momentum that each strike carried a lot of force behind it, I could understand this statement. I don't really see how someone swinging their blade in a manor that carries little force behind it can cut better than a blade where someone brings force into the swing right from the get go.

The other issue I have with this is you don't mention anything about what happens to your momentum when deflecting blows or if your blows are deflected. This is a style that is based on fluid movements that build up speed and momentum (unless I am understanding this wrong). What this means is that your blade is prone to being slowed down with each incident that it impacts something, whether it be skin and bone or metal of another blade. The other thing is that if you are allowing momentum to carry your blade, I can see it leaving openings in your attack pattern as you can't simply change the direction of the swing, lest you bleed off all that built up momentum, yet there is no mention of that here either as far as I can see.

I would like these issues addressed, if it's not too much trouble. If I missed something or misunderstood/misread something I do apologize in advance.
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Slurberdur
Kumo Nin
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Age : 25
Posts : 787

PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Mon 04 Feb 2013, 11:44 pm

Twas a lil different then I had remembered. I removed it, because a) its not necessary in the app and b) i don feel like reworking it, id rather just be approved and move on, the swords will still be used how they will be used, like with all jutsu and items, proper description in rp. Thank you for pointing out the flaws though, hate to have second rate work on my apps.
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Kite
Kumo Nin
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Age : 27
Posts : 1209

PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Tue 05 Feb 2013, 1:02 am

Approved
2/2


Don't forget to make an account here.
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Cookie Monster
Swaglord
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Age : 22
Posts : 4301

PostSubject: Re: Hogosha, Taizen [Kiri Genin] Sun 16 Jun 2013, 5:08 pm


Archived.
Due to character death.

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