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Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin]

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Thantosis
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Age : 20
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PostSubject: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 02 Feb 2013, 4:26 pm



Sitorm, Anthossit.

THE INFO.

Name:Anthossit, Sitorm
Nickname:Anth
Age:15
Gender:Male

Appearance:A 5'9 Strapping Young lad With dark hair and Charcoal eyes, He sports a red jacket and a bracelet made of shark teeth. He is good about changing the color of his shirts, he has a shirt for every day of every week and cleans whichever ones he isn't wearing. Though it is hard to tell if he does this with pants because he doesnt have as many varieties. He wears a black leather belt with enlarged loops wher he stores tools for Mortis, The Family Puppet,since the are enlarged he also hangs the Kunai and Shuriken pouches from them with brown string. This is not his only means of weaponry, however, and has two pouchs on the backside of his waist and a small mini pouch brandished on the side of his upper calve.

When on his more relaxed days he sometimes sports a black flat rimmed fedora, it seems to be the one thing that he wears on a whimsy the Hat isn't tattered but it isnt far from it the hat is obviously old though he refuses to buy a new one. Last but not least are his green alligator skin boots like his hat the boots have obivously seen better days but he keeps them shined and looking as good as shoes with thier track record could. His boots are heavy most don’t understand why he has them, being that they give him a slight disadvantage in the stealth category. He also has an old military backpack just in case Mortis runs out of tools in between battles his backpack was his fathers so it includes old battle scars but it is a dark green he added a star to it.

He usually let's his fingernails grow because his nails are kind of sharper then the normal persons are, he usually has his right eye covered with his hair. His Charcoal grey eyes tell a history of fear and redemption now a uncanny joy however a deeper look reveals a deep seeded hatred, he has a wrap around his right arm and left leg. He has his headband tied like a bandana, with black leather gloves that have holes on the knuckles to quote increase the ferocity of his punches but they are secretly just a fashion choice . His nails are kind of sharper then the normal persons are, he always has his right eye covered with his hair.

Forehead Protector:Anth Wears His Headband Tied on his head but Backwards

Personality:Anth is a very happy go lucky guy he tends to look on the positive and is one who would rather be depressed and pick up someone elses spirits. He is very set in his ways and has extreme distaste for anything that strays from the status quo, he Loves the way his life is going now and will stop at nothing to keep it the way it is. It is hard for Anth to become close to someone but after he does, he will stick with you to the end which he will ensure that his end is before yours. He loves joking around unless the situation calls for a more serious attitude he jokes to cheer people up, when most times he needs cheering up himself but he's a mostly selfless guy. Anth has been seen in his free time playing with academy students or cleaning the local lake, he only acts surious during his training attempting to perfect his newest jutsu. He takes his training very seriously, and when interrupted by what he considers to be useless nonsense he becomes very angry, he only does it because he feels he must perfect his Jutsu to help him protect his friends.

Maybe the only thing he feels is almost as important as protecting the world around him is that he makes sure to make a lasting impression on those around him, so that he will not be forgotten. He is very dedicated and will rarely quit, but only if continuing could bring more harm then giving up. He is very friendly and wants to be liked by everyone, this sometimes leaves him disappointed as he has been told by everyone you can't please every person, he absolutely refuses to accept it in any way shape or form he therefore tries to change his personality to best fit the person he is around. More to make those around him comfortable then anything, his pure attitude of trying to help everyone around him usually leaves Anth exhausted and not to much caring about his own appearence.


Clan:N/A
Nindō:Whatever Will Be Will Be. Anth takes life as it comes never trying to alter the way the world works He is very set in his ways and likes everything to stay status Quo.

THE NINJA.

Origin:Mizu No Kuni
Affiliation:Kirigakure
Rank:Genin
Specialties:First:Kugetsu Second:Taijutsu
Elemental Affinities:Main:Katon Sub:Fuuton

Combat Style:Anth uses His Puppet Mortis to double as a copy of himself making the opponent think he specializes in clone jutsu or something similar, if he is in a situation where he cannot summon Mortis he prefers to use Taijutsu to exclusively conserve chakara for when he is able to summon Mortis. If the opponent sees through the ruse of Mortis being a doppleganger Anth prefers to use Mortis upclose in a mix of taijustu and weaponry. Since he is a Puppetry user even when using Taijutsu he tries to refrain from using chakra, he also protects his wrists as to not damage the summoning pads to summon Mortis. His main source of strength and his best position to attack from is far away from the opponent with Mortis doing most of the heavy lifting depending on the number of enemies and thier rank, he may also use taijutsu just to conserve weapons in Mortis. If at all possible Anth tries to prevent being in a situation with little chakra because he won't be able to use Mortis for long and in that situation Anth usually has to choose between trying to use the last of his chakra for Mortis or using taijutsu.

Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:
 


THE BACKGROUND.

History:
Spoiler:
 

Childhood
Spoiler:
 

Teenager/Present
Spoiler:
 
15th Birthday
Spoiler:
 

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:
 
THE ARSENAL.
Jutsu
Spoiler:
 


Name:Mortis
Rank:C
Appearance:Mortis is a tall lumbering skinny puppet made out of a wooden plating with a metalic inside, but on the outside Mortis resembles a skeletal figure that is related with the Angel of death, he also has a black robe with a mane of fur around the crown of his head said cloak covers all of its features other then its head his eyes are pupilless with just the whites staring at Anth's opponets it also has two gold flames around its eyes in a goldish hue, merely for visual preference and fear, and other than that simply resembles an oversized skeleton. His arms are skinny and box like and his hands are white. The chakra strings that connect Mortis to Anth jut from each joint in his arm and at his neck to activate his head modification.
Body Slots:
Slot 1:
Name: Ninjato
Rank: D
Slots Required: 1
Type: Swords
Description: Short and straight, this blade takes a similar form of a katana, but without the curvature in the blade. With the blade measuring no more than one and a half feet, and a square guard on top, this weapon has been popularized by many ninja, especially the ANBU, hence the name. The Blade that Mortis is equipped with is hidden within his arms and when his hands unhinged it is propelled to the wrists and used as a normal sword it can also be shot at opponet but there is not another one so this is usually not used by Anth. In addition the blade cannot be fired faster then a kunai thrown by the average shinobi

Slot 2:
Name: Senbon Launcher
Rank: C
Slots Required: 1
Type: Exotic
Description: Usually hidden on either of the user's forearm under loose cloth, this launcher can be used to send needles at their opponents at higher speeds with better accuracy. Up to five needles can be launched at once, resulting in deadly surprise. The Senbon launcher is hidden inside Mortis' head and is reloaded by Anth opening the front of his head and loading them manually, this is a long process to go through and is almost impossible to do in the middle of battle this causes Anth to use them sparingly usually in 3-5 shot bursts.There is a total of 30 Senbon stored in Mortis' head at a time located on a spool where Mortis' tounge would be Anth must place each individual senbon in at a time.When he does do it it takes Anth about 3 posts outside of battle and 5 during. Since the senbon come from the head and are fed down threw the arms there is no specific number that each arm fires and it
is solely dependent on Anth's decision
Slot 3:
Name: Hand Augments
Rank: C
Slots Required: 2
Type: Modification
Description:
The hand of Mortis' left hand unhinges at the wrists to let contraptions hidden within Mortis' arms become open to the outside


Slot 4:
Name: N/A
Rank:
Slots Required:
Type:
Description:



Slot 5:
Name: Head Rotation
Rank: C
Slots Required: 2
Type: Modification
Description: The head of Mortis can spin 360 degrees and stop in any direction however when aiming upwards and attempting this can sometimes cause jamming



Slot 6:
Name: N/A
Rank:
Slots Required:
Type:
Description:

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim:Anthossit
Source:Google Images Cool
Image URL:http://i75.servimg.com/u/f75/18/09/10/50/7200-111.jpg


Last edited by Thantosis on Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:04 pm; edited 15 times in total
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 02 Feb 2013, 5:47 pm

Appearance has coding problem and it's too short. So is personality.
You have puppetry as skill yet you have no puppet at all.
You cannot have Medical or Genjutsu justsus yet so please remove them.
You are allowed to start with 15 jutsus without counting the Academy ones.

I suggest reading the Rules and Guides thread and follow them while making the character.
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Kite
Kumo Nin
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 02 Feb 2013, 11:38 pm

I'd also suggest looking at our other character apps to get an idea of what you'll need. Don't hesitate to PM me or any of the other creations mods if you have questions. Smile
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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Thu 07 Feb 2013, 11:16 pm

rdy
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CleverYamanaka
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sun 10 Feb 2013, 1:50 am

Quote :
NameAnthossit Sitorm:
A little typo there, might wanna fix that.

Personality should be longer.

Quote :
Elemental Affinities:Main:Kanton Sub:Fuuton
Katon, not Kanton.

Combat style needs to be longer, even if just by a little bit.

You only have 12 jutsu that I counted, and you're allowed 15. It's not required, but if you want you can add a little more there.

Quote :
Name: Konoha Dai Senpuu - Leaf Great Whirlwind
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A series of kicking attacks, starting from a low kick and linking into a middle kick and high kick then finishing off with a heel drop. As the rotation speed picks up the user gains buoyancy, which they use to shift into gradually higher attacks.
Chakra Cost:
There is no chakra cost listed on that, so you need to put that in there.





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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Wed 13 Feb 2013, 7:29 pm

Butt Rape.............I Mean bump
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CleverYamanaka
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Fri 15 Feb 2013, 10:14 am

Quote :
Slot 1:
Name: Ninjato
The hand unhinges, and the blade shoots out like it's spring loaded, correct? And then, once the blade is out, you can also shoot the blade? Please specify that it is not faster than a normally thrown kunai by your average shinobi; sound good?

Quote :
Slot 2:
Name: Senbon Launcher
So the launchers are on the hands, but the main compartment is in the head, correct? and it reloads through the head - and this is something that the puppet does by itself? You're going to need to clarify that a bit more. Talk about how it is reloaded, how long it takes in posts, and what must be done. What is more, you mention that the senbon launcher shoots about five senbon in total - are you talking about five from each arm? If so, clarify that. Lastly, you're going to need to just blatantly tell how many senbon you're able to fire IN TOTAL. So, if a pack of the senbon had thirty senbon in them, that would mean each hand could shoot (in total) fifteen senbon in three bursts of five each. You're going to need that kind of clarification; sound good?

All of your Kirigakure specific jutsu need to be removed, seeing as they're ninjutsu, and you can own ninjutsu seeing as that's not a specialty of yours. So you're going to have to remove those. Note that there are some Kirigakure specific taijutsu in there, if you want to put those on the app!

Fix that, and I'll check back!


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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 16 Feb 2013, 8:27 am

Bumper Cars
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CleverYamanaka
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 16 Feb 2013, 8:40 am

Quote :
Affiliation: Mizu no Kuni
Change this to Kirigakure.

Do that, and I think you'll be good.

EDIT: The image you're using right now is Dante from Devil May Cry, which has already been face claimed. So you're going to have to change that. Cool?
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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sat 16 Feb 2013, 8:34 pm

Good?
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CleverYamanaka
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sun 17 Feb 2013, 5:09 am

Haha, nope.
Origin = Mizu no Kuni
Affiliation = Kirigakure
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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Sun 17 Feb 2013, 6:37 am

Done Fingers crossed?
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CleverYamanaka
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Mon 18 Feb 2013, 12:57 am

Approved 1/2
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MsMoney
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Mon 18 Feb 2013, 4:38 pm

So,


  • Your personality needs to be a tad bit longer, and also please separate it into like two paragraphs so it's not such a big block of text. I also want to ask you to proofread your posts and be careful that they will actually make sense, as I gotta say you got me confused a few times while I was reading over your personality. You also have quite a few grammar errors, and if you could take a moment and read over your application to fix a few of those it would be appreciated. An example of errors or confusing sentences will be quoted below, just so you see what I'm talking about: (I only take a small part, but keep in mind that we want posts on this site to be easily read and understood (and with a good grammar). Sometimes it's best to end a sentence and start a new one, rather than let one sentence carry out for a long time.)

    Quote :
    He is good about changing the color of his shirts though he has a shirt for every day of every week and then starts from the top the next month, though it is hard to notice when but he does the same with pants but he doesnt have as many varieties.

    Quote :
    He is very very set in his ways this isnt because his life is in disarry but the exact oppisite

    Quote :
    is hard to become close to but after you do he will stick with you to the end which he will ensure that his is before yours.


    Quote :
    unless the stuation


    Quote :
    more serious attiude


    Quote :
    he only acts surious


    Quote :
    maybe the only thing he feels is almost as important as protecting the world around him is that he aims to make sure that he makes a lasting impression on those around him, so that he will not be forgotten.


    Quote :
    siblings didn't not forget them

    Quote :
    saw two of his cousions

  • I would like for you to proofread your combat style and change the grammar errors you see there. This section is something that should be very clear. Also, place into it his main weakness and main strength.

  • You are missing one jutsu from the academy list:

    Code:
    [b]Name:[/b] Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique
    [b]Rank:[/b] E
    [b]Type:[/b] Genjutsu
    [b]Range:[/b] N/A
    [b]Medium:[/b] Optical
    [b]Element:[/b] N/A
    [b]Description:[/b] This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others.
    [b]Chakra Cost:[/b] 1CP per 5 clones

  • I can't click the link to your FC.

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Thantosis
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Thu 21 Feb 2013, 9:09 pm

Explosion
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MsMoney
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Fri 22 Feb 2013, 2:30 am

(2/2) approved.

Now you can make your account here.
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Sloth
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PostSubject: Re: Sitorm, Anthossit [Kiri Genin] Fri 05 Apr 2013, 7:44 pm

Unapproved due to user inactivity.
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